This here is what I’ll simply call a random thoughts blogs. It’s not about one thing, particularly, and it’s not even that good to be honest. I simply sat down and started typing and this is what I came up with.
Enjoy! Or not…
What if Bowser and Peach are just a couple lovers because Peach wants to get out from under the overbearing, likely abusive, thumb of her short and fat mustached boyfriend. This is something that I’ve thought about, in great detail, probably more detail than it deserves but still a lot of detail.
I also think to myself that it would be insane to believe that I’m the only one to think this.
Is that true?
Am I the only one that thinks Mario might actually be a violent, abusive and overbearing boyfriend?
It makes so much sense though, doesn’t it?
Think back when you played that first adventurous escapade for the NES. Let’s assume you didn’t read the short story synopsis, included in the instruction booklet. This is likely because you were a child that couldn’t give two shits why Mario did what he did. You just accepted it. You were playing as a little fat Italian plumber, lost in a world populated by side-stepping mushroom people and colour-coded smiling turtles (some of which have wings!) There were also carnivorous plants that spat fireballs and they lived in green pipes because…reasons!
“Accept this world, little gamer!” says a man, sounding an awful lot like Alfred Pennyworth. “It’s all good! All is natural! Nobody is tripping!”
Not until you pick up the LSD infused star…
I think I’m moving away from the topic at hand.
Usually when I write something down at a fast-pace, such as I’m doing right now, I often ramble myself way off topic so I’ll do my best to reign in my digressions from this point forward.
So, as I said before, think back when Mario first descended into the mushroom kingdom. He shows up, doesn’t even start asking question. No way! He just goes full-throttle Liam Neeson on everyone and everything.
“You seen the princess, you mushroom fuck?!”
“Greetings traveller…,” the Goomba nervously says as the angry Italian throat punches him into a stammering silence. As the poor, confused Goomba tries to waddle away, it gasps for breath. Mario quickly stomps onto its soft head, squishing it into a chunky paste.
A red shelled Koopa Troopa sees the senseless slaughter, changes direction and preys he isn’t next.
You get the idea.
Mario is a tiny little psychopath on a quest of violence. Look at how terrified the Goomba and the Koopa Troopa is. Those expressions are NOT the expressions of malicious creatures.
Bowser, on the other hand, is a large and scary looking fellow but he’s quite meek isn’t he? All you have to do is look at the way the game unfolds. Bowser’s hiding in his castle with his girlfriend, Peach, because there is quite literally a fireball throwing, size altering maniac on the loose. All of his pals are being slaughtered even though none are acting hostile toward Mario (except maybe those hammer-throwing fucks) but even they were only lobbing the hammers. They weren’t throwing them with the precision of Bullseye. It doesn’t matter though. They’re dead now. All the poor creatures of the mushroom kingdom are dead now and Mario has recaptured the princess.
That is, until he sequel and the other games!
Get the hint Mario! She doesn’t love you anymore, bro!
“Is that it, Sean? Are you done?”
“Yeah, I think that’s sufficiently stupid for one day, Sean.”
I apologize for the shortness of this blog but I honestly have been so busy in the last couple of weeks, I’m surprised I was able to write anything down in the first place. A whole bunch of remarkably, wondrously, stupendously, exciting things have happened to me this week and I’m very happy but also quite busy.
I’ve been having some good success on Vero, gaining a decent sized following and I’ve also been verified! That’s pretty cool. What’s even better than that though is that Vero is a more encouraging social media app to seek out new friends, when comparing to other platforms like Facebook and Instagram. I’ve made a handful of new friends and they’re really awesome people. We all encourage one another and talk about the things that interest us, and we have fun. It’s great.
Another fantastic thing is that I’ve been getting steady publication on a really fun horror movie website (something I’m truly happy about) and it’s helping me perfect my writing, meet deadlines, and also encourage new ideas and interests.
So, in closing, I would just like to say to anyone out there this little piece:
You might decide to do something with your life that other people around you might see as an act in frivolity and foolishness. For instance, I chose journalism which is not particularly easy to get into and it doesn’t even pay that well, but it’s something I want! That’s what matters. Sometimes it will feel like a struggle and a half and you might even start to second-guess yourself. Don’t give up though. The best things in life are not easily attained because if they were, then everyone would have the best things! As long as you are happy in whatever you choose to do, go for it! Make the best of it!
I suppose that’s it for now and I promise that next week’s blog will not be a life-lesson type of blog. I’m not a fan and I’m kind of annoyed that I did one here.
If you’ve made it this far, congratulations!
But the princess is in another castle.